That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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