I showed him my bush... on skype.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize