Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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