My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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