It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
