dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
