hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
