there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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