"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
