So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize