i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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