And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
