There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Iām once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
