so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
