I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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