Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
