discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
