Your mouth is God's brothel.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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