I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
