He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
