listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
