You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize