Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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