Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
