okay pat passed out under dana's car
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
