I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
