this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
