we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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