I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this just has baby written all over it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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