There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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