Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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