exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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