i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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