You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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