I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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