i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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