my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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