We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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