So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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