I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i already hear my dad disowning me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize