I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
