i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize