that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
