Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
