i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
