My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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