we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
