I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she smelled like a LAN party
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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