we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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