went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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