I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
