Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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