Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
