wanna go halves on a baby?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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