So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
