you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
wow bdsm is so cute
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
